Wake up slow

Tonight as I was sitting in my bed with my wonderful boyfriend, I got a text message from someone I am not friends with, and have never liked. And the first thing this person did—right off the bat, was insult my boyfriend. First of all, why? I have no clue. Boredom? Perhaps. He proceeded to insult and finally when I told him enough was enough, he proceeded to tell me that the only reason he was saying these things is because he thought I was cute and every time he’s talked with me I’ve been in a relationship and apparently to him “talking to people who are in relationships are boring”. Ooooookay then.

Blah-dee-blah-dee-blah, so on, so forth I got so angry with this person that I told him not to talk to me and I was tired of his bullshit. He kept talking and I refused to respond.

So now, my question, after reliving the frustration in typing this entry, is— Why is it, that someone like this person, someone who I am not friends with and never have liked, is allowed to walk into my life whenever the hell he feels like it, and fuck with my happiness? I know what you’re thinking, he isn’t responsible for my happiness, and thats right he isn’t. BUT- he makes me question myself- he makes me question what I know and what I am certain of. And at first this REALLY pisses me off! (Those of you who know me well know that I am not easily calmed when angry) Then after my, again, wonderful boyfriend gives me some input and puts it in perspective, I realize that I am certain, and confident of all the things he was trying to make me insecure about. And nothing can change that.

So why is this still frustrating? Because I can’t control who walks into my life and throws a punch at me at any given moment. Why don’t we all have some kind of forcefield that you can allow or not allow certain people passed? And why do people just want to mess with other people’s heads? Get them upset? I don’t understand it one bit.

So it was just like that- sitting with my love, having a lovely time and then bam after 1 text I am GONE. Thats all it took. A text message.

Now this is where I tell myself that I am untouchable by any harm. I have a protecting white light around me. Nothing can touch me. And I remember that. And I go to bed feeling lighter and without this anger on my shoulders. This takes practice.